Happy Saint Valentine's Day!
Gentle readers:
Today in the Catholic Church, Lutheran Church, and the Church of England is the feast day of Saint Valentine. Oddly, there are actually TWO Saint Valentines that are celebrated today: Valentine of Rome (martyred in 269), and Valentine of Terni (martyred in 271). As odd as it sounds, the concept of "love" and "secret marriages" related to either of these men have no evidentiary basis, and don't appear until about the 8th Century. This is dissimilar to Saint Patrick's feast day on March 17th, which celebrates the priest driving out pagan traditions (or, "snakes") out of Ireland. But maybe we'll talk more about him the next time we write.
SO, we begin with a Happy Valentine's Day to each of you, but with particular affection for Valentine hotties Sarah Clutts, Juli Merciez, Kayla Blount, and Ronda Smith. We've seen Ronda's posts about us. Make your bubble bath extra steamy tonight, maiden. We'll be out scoping the bars for lonely cougars that remind us of you ladies. Mmmmmmm..... Sadly, we'll wake up in the morning and find out that we took home Lynelle Medley or Cathy Connor. Ew.
Governor Stitt has had enough of
Ryan Walters. Actually, this happened a little before Walters was elected, but when someone goes full retard (or, full Wayne Hill), you can only take so much. Governor Stitt decided to make the rift public and knock out three of the department of ed board members. Look, we know each of these people, and they aren't bad folks. This was simply done to send a signal to Walters to quit jacking around. But how did Walters react to the signal? You won't be shocked to find out that he did the opposite of what he should, and called Stitt "woke" and antithetical (he didn't actually use that word, it's too big for Ryan) to the MAGA agenda. We're not sure that Ryan's caricature of MAGA is really what MAGA is, but we can definitely say that it won't play enough in a run for Governor or LG to succeed. Also of note, Wayne Hill is encouraging the action figures to call the governor's office and yell at the young intern answering the phones. Because that's going to do something.
Speaking of the Governor's
race, Gentner Drummond forgot the first rule of politics: when your opponent is stumbling, stay out of the way and let them fall. Instead, he inserted himself, tried to call himself a conservative, invoked Trump (it looked very uncomfortable), and then sent a letter to Stitt's new appointees telling them to be "independent" of both Stitt and Walters. File this letter away. If any of you get appointed to something by Gentner, and you piss him off with a vote you take, just remind him that you were just following his advice to be "independent" in your board position. We aren't sure you'll hold your appointment for very long, but that's how things go, don't they, Gentner?
Do you all remember
Frank Keating appointee Linda Murphy? She's the lady that self-appointed herself the "OKGOP Education Chair" just before local vampire Ferate was elected party chair (the Lost Ogle is really funny sometimes), and they claimed that she had authority from the OKGOP to tell school districts to ban such "questionable" literature such as "Lord of the Flies" and "Of Mice and Men." Look, Lord of the Flies isn't a pleasant book, but baybe Oklahoma Republicans should be required to read it so that they understand what is happening to the OKGOP. Getting back to the OKGOP, Ferate had to remind her that he didn't appoint her and that she held a fake role. Linda didn't like that.
Now Getting back to Linda: We started out this article highlighting Catholicism. We did this not because any of us is Catholic, but we are definitely not anti-Catholic like Linda is. Her bigoted facebook posts of the last week 1) wrongly accused Governor Stitt of being Catholic (even after his top political consultant confirmed that he is not), and 2) remained full Wayne Hill through more than 300 comments before she finally deleted it. In the post, she ignored that the US Constitution's Supremacy Clause overrides any bigoted statutes Oklahoma put in place in 1907, and looked like a damn fool. THEN, she tied Stitt to conservative DC political figures (that happen to be Catholic) like it was a bad thing.
The Catholic Church has viewed education in a very serious way for most of its history. This is why the majority of the US Supreme Court is Catholic. They are smart people. Believe it or not, even smarter than Ryan Walters. You don't like the faith, that's your problem, but their educational outcomes are outstanding when compared to Oklahoma's 49th ranking. Maybe-just maybe-if us evangelicals in this state just looked up long enough and looked around to realize that we don't take education seriously, have too many damn school districts in this state, that none of them are actually competitively educating anyone, and that no one wants to bring jobs to this state (to Stitt's point about Walters) because we are a bunch of hayseeds and prove it with our Linda Murphys and Carrie Bertrands around here, maybe we could actually change some educational outcomes, bring good jobs into Oklahoma, and raise personal incomes. But maybe that would be bad.
But keep on with your bigoted banter, Linda. We've got a bag of popcorn, Ronda is in the bathtub, and later we're going to cuddle up and shake our heads at your full Wayne Hill mode. And we'll drink some rosé because it's classy.
Happy Feast Day of Saint Valentine, whichever Saint Valentine you choose to celebrate!
CW/CM/SC/WB/Choctaw Shilup Tohbi
